I don’t watch a lot of Netflix movies. In my opinion, streaming flics are too slow, too boring, and some – downright too cheesy. But when the Irishman made headlines as “One of this year’s best movies,” I had to take look and see what this Netflix film was all about. Afterall, it wasn’t just any regular streaming movie. It’s budget was huge, it cost $159 million to make, and was directed by Martin Scorsese.
Martin Scorsese is widely accepted as one of the best directors of all time. Of course, that is up for debate, something I personally disagree with. But I can agree that he is one of the most influental, as I find many filmmakers immitating his type storytelling (for better or worse). Even the Joker, copied Scorsese’s Taxi Driver and The King of Comedy.
Now I’m not a fan of Martin Scorsese and this was before he said “I don’t think they’re cinema,” referring to Marvel Movies. Saying, “I’ve tried to watch a few of them and that they’re not for me, that they seem to be closer to theme parks than they are to movies as I’ve known and loved them throughout my life.”
Granted, Marvel movies are like themeparks. They are thrill rides, adrenaline filled, exciting, and worth waiting in line for. Scorsese’s movies are not that. And I have to say, the majority of them are downright boring.
The Irishman was no exception.
It was….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
And with that loud snore, let’s get into the Maverick Review.
THE SCREENPLAY
The concept of The Irishman is a boring one. The entire movie is a flashback of Frank Sheeran’s life, as he tells it from his wheelchair in an old folks home. The script is dialogue heavy, and at times it sounds as though your listening to an old fart who loves talking about himself and can’t shut up. Other than Frank being a hitman, and a life that intersects Jimmy Hoffa, nothing else is really interesting.
There’s no point to The Irishman. No mission to be accomplished, no subplots, no character growth, no nothing. You’re just along for the rambling ride of an old man – a three hour long ride, by the way. To be honest, I don’t think there are any hard turning points where I can say, ACT I ends here and now we’re into ACT II. It’s just blah – all the way through.
Of course, artists loved The Irishman because it “broke all the rules.” Artists tend to like anything that breaks the rules, even if means taping a banana to a wall and paying 120k, because it’s “non-conforming and original.” To the rest of us who like the adventure park rides, this would be like watching paint dry. And of course, artist would tell us, “You don’t get it.”
There are no redeeming factors for this script. It’s absolutely the worst.
GRADE: F
THE ACTING
This movie has some pretty heavy hitters in here. Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci, Ray Romano, Harvey Keitel, just to name a few. Is that why the budget is so big?
Of course, the acting was superb. They all do a great job.
GRADE: A
DIRECTION
At the end of the day, the director is like a quarterback of a football team and they are either going to get the credit or the blame for the loss. In this case, The Irishman was a big L. I’m glad I didn’t opt to watch this movie in the theaters and had the option of hitting pause, doing something else, then coming back to it after I did something more interesting. At the end of the day, the director’s job is to entertain, and if he or she fails to do that simple task, that’s not a winning performance. In the case of The Irishman, the historic director gets a big fail from me.
GRADE: F
CHARACTER BREAKDOWN
Now, you would assume that a three-hour long movie would have in-depth characters, so this movie, would be filled with character development up the wazoo. Nothing could be further from the truth. For the most part, we don’t know much about the characters in The Irishman. They are literally – meh.
Frank Sheeran, the main character played by Robert De Niro – we don’t know his fears, what angers him, why he can’t connect with his daughters. We don’t learn how he became a hitman, how he got so good, if he ever cared about his mark, had any doubts. Did he get any training? Why was his wife attracted to him? What did his daughter’s fear about him. There’s a lot of questions that went unanswered.
Same goes for Joe Pesci’s character, Russel Bufalino – we just know that he’s powerful. How did he get there? Who knows. Why is he respected? He just is. Does he fear anything? He should, fear is what powers the human psyche.
Three hours – and we don’t learn much about these characters to generate an opinion on them – and this movie is supposed to be the best of the year?
Martin Scorcese can take a lesson from comic book movies, beacuse I can tell you that every superhero and villain has a very interesting backstory, a motivation, an agenda, and a specific fear that powers their behavior. Within a very short time, we can tell that Tony Stark has father issues, is obsessed with his image, balances doing what’s right for others versus himself, and fights his fears with alcohol.
With that all being said, I’ll try my best to fit the top three main characters into the enneagram as best as I could.
FRANK SHEERAN: Type 9 “Peacemaker”
Type Nine’s are not confrontational. They are not looking for a debate, rarely stand up for themselves, and tend to cower in the face of danger. Ironically, even though Frank Sheeran was a hitman, and lived a life outside the law, that was just his job. He only killed those who he was told to kill, never raising a finger to debate who was marked, and never moonlighting. Frank did his duty. And he was never a go-getter either, never wanting more or less, just going with the flow. Like most peacekeepers, they don’t seek fame or leadership roles. They are happy operating in the shadows, listening, not making any waves. And Frank was always trying to keep the peace, and in some strange way, that’s how he understood what his job as a hitman was – to keep the peace. When it came to other tasks, Frank always followed orders without any objection or question. In a way, he was like Forest Gump, just with a gun.
Type Nines can sometimes be very difficult to get to know, as they are just full of fear. And this may be a reason why Frank wasn’t great at relationships, specifically with his family.
You don’t find many peacemakers in lead roles for movies because they can be a bit boring. And well – Frank was a boring character. Everyone around him was a bit more exciting.
By the way, I have yet to write about the Type Nine on the Enneagram.
RUSSELL BUFALINO: Type Nine “Peacekeeper” with an Eight “Challenger” Wing.
And we have another peacekeeper, but this time, one that is in a leadership role, which means they are a Type Nine that embraces their Type Eight “Challenger” wing.
A quick summary of Type Eights – they are very strong personalities. In the face of fear, their first reaction is to punch back. Rules to them are a simple guideline which can easily be crossed. Pure Type Eights are like Thor or Wolverine, or in real life – Antonio Brown – They are all about strength, all about being the tough guy. Because of their inner strength, they are natural born leaders who tend to lead by intimidation.
When you combine a Type Nine and Eight personality, you would probably get someone like Tony Dungy. A type of leader who doesn’t shout, but who leads by keeping the peace, and rarely breaks the rules.
Russel Bufalino’s character always kept the peace in his neighborhood, making sure gang wars didn’t get out of hand.
Having two Type Nines in lead roles in a story is just a bad idea. It’s boring because they are reactionary characters. And this is what we had here. Two main charactes waiting for something to happen.
JIMMY HOFFA: Type Eight “Challenger”
Speaking of a pure Type Eight, Jimmy Hoffa, fit this personality type on screen and in real life. As a union leader, he struck fear into the hearts of big companies, and pedaled that fear to become president of the IBT (Interational Brotehrhood of Teamsters). He never backed down from a fight, ruffled feathers, and refused to embrace his peacekeeper wing. His super-ego ultimately lead to his death, at least in this movie. He’s a much more intresting character than the rest. Why didn’t they base the movie on him?
LAST THOUGHTS
If you find art museums fascinating and consider yourself an artist, maybe even one that is attracted to the dark side of life, you may find this movie interesting. For everyone else, you wouldn’t understand why it’s considered great. Odds are you would be like me, and find it boring.
My final grade for this movie is the lowest I can give. Unlike professional critics who think it’s one of the best movies ever made, I believe this is one of the worst movies of the year.
GRADE: F
Steve Young
