TOO MANY LOGICAL FAILURES
One of the major rules that I have with storytelling is “to make it believable.” It doesn’t matter if you’re writing the next installment of the MCU universe, or writing a business proposal for your start-up, you need to make your idea – believable. Whatever you’re selling, at some point or another, it has to be the truth, or else you’ll lose your audience.
But if you’re great at it, there will come a time when someone will say to themselves, “You know what, I think I really never sawed my boat in half before, but I better get that Flex tape. I better buy it because you never know when that could happen.”
Now, I’m sure you’ve talked to any big fan encountered a “nerd out.” You know what I’m talking about. Spirited debate on “Who would win a fight between the Hulk or Superman?” And that conversation would revolve around the fictional realm, fictional science, but remain logical and believable.
That realm doesn’t exist in this movie. It doesn’t even attempt to argue how this fictional world could exist. Things happen, you accept it, and that’s it. The writer has spoken and there’s no debate.
The Kid Who Would Be King faces a huge logical hurdle which is “Why would Merlin choose an ‘out of shape prepubescent unathletic kid’ to fight an evil that could end the world?”
Does the kid have a special genealogy linked back to the Knight’s Roundtable?
Does Excalibur give him special powers to make him stronger or courageous?
Does the kid have special powers? Maybe magical?
Is this kid a really good fighter?
The answer is no, no, and no.
He’s just a kid. He’s a piss poor fighter as well.
Does he get any more powers during the movie? No.
Well, he does go through a single round of training which is supposed to prepare him for an end of the world battle. Yeah, that’s really believable.
STORY STRUCTURE WAS GOOD
The structure of this movie wasn’t bad at all. In fact, it was good. The turning points were strong, obvious, very distinct. From what I can tell, there are 4- acts. The 3-act structure is your normal 3-act structure with a beginning, middle, and end, but the ending story has an extra extension to it. So just when you think the mission is accomplished, low and behold – there’s another 15-minute encore of action. As many failures as this movie had, because it had a solid structure, it moved along well and wasn’t boring.
2ND ACT SIDE-MISSION FAILURE:
Like The Last Jedi, the side-mission goes nowhere. In this movie, the side-mission doesn’t do anything more than make a group of teens who hate each other, love each other. The side-mission doesn’t result in any new clue or skill to help our heroes. It’s just a team bonding exercise with the main character finding out that his father was a horrible drunk, and a loser.
CHARACTER FAILURES…
Then there’s the Antagonist, Morgana, who wants to… I’m not sure what she wants to do other than to just be evil. Why? Who knows. But she’s evil but has a great body. Apparently, she works out – somehow. She was strapped to a column for centuries, yet still has a body of a Supermodel. But she creates an army, so powerful, so dangerous – that if her soldiers trip and fall to the ground, they break apart and die. Yeah, they are as fragile as eggs. If Morgana’s army showed up and these kids were armed with slingshots and rocks, they would be in trouble. Good thing these kids are lead by a teenage king who wants to use swords,
To top off the ludicrousness of this movie, Excalibur gives no special powers to the kid. In fact, it has no special powers other than having a flashing light that warns them danger is near. And apparently, it can heal itself somewhat, if you give it to Lady of the Lake. But don’t expect her to give it to you shiny spanking new, she’ll just glue it back together with all the dents. And it’s somewhat of a GPS sword too. It’s not good as a smartphone though. Maybe, the Lady of the lake could add a few apps.
Morgana, by the way, wants Excalibur. But for what reason? Who knows. It’s not magical. Oh yeah, the kid did use the sword to behead Morgana. Man, that was graphic beheading too. That really doesn’t make it kid-friendly.
ENTERTAINMENT: B+
Great structure and great directing is why the movie was still entertaining to watch. I wouldn’t spend money on it, though so I can’t give it an A. Plus, the Director wrote the script. I feel as though if the script would have gone through maybe a few more drafts, it would have been a great movie.
ENNEAGRAM BREAKDOWN OF CHARACTERS
All of the characters were very thin so you’re not looking some deep character breakdown here. If you’re not aware of the Enneagram, please go here:
ALEX – Type One Reformer with a two wing – Moral Center, always wanting to do what’s right even at his own expense, and a savior. There was some sense of abandonment in there, which is typical of a type 6, but that fear wasn’t written into the character, just told. Very one-dimensional.
BEDDERS – Type Six Loyalist or maybe Type Two Helper – both healthy versions. Very hard to tell. Just you’re typical sidekick.
LANCE – Type Eight – average to unhealthy. Probably the most accurate complete written character. The typical bully, selfish, who finds redemption in helping others. Eights are very easy characters to write and the most fun.
KAYE – A very thin character. She was a bully, but also loyal to Lance in the beginning of the movie. But why, who knows. Maybe she’s a six? An eight? Who knows.
MERLIN – I have no idea why Merlin was helping Alex. I’m thinking he’s out for the greater good. So most likely we’re looking at him as a Type One Reformer.
MORGANA – Very thin character as well. That’s very strange for a screenplay because antagonists usually are the ones who drive the story. I would say she’s either an unhealthy Six or Eight. There was some sense of abandonment/paranoia in her character. Definitely, one who breaks rules, wants to rule with power, and punish the weak.
OVERALL GRADE: C
Steve Young
