TOO LONG AND TOO BORING
Hollywood writers are on strike as I tap out this review, and I have to be honest – this may be a good excuse for studios to walk away from the unions, and bring in some fresh new blood. I love Spider-Man. I really enjoyed the first film Into the Spider-Verse. I paid $20 to see this in the theaters and wanted, so much, to love this movie. And instead of getting to see some good ole quick-wit-Spidey-action, all I got was a drawn-out soap opera with a few underwhelming chase scenes, and an ending that went nowhere.
What went wrong here?
Well, everything.
Let’s start with the animation, which was incredibly poor. I don’t care how much praise this film has gotten for its animation – in my opinion, it sucks. Animation, when done properly, can stretch the limits of imagination. But like all arts, it has to be done properly. Art ability should always go unnoticed because, art by nature, is fictional…biased. And, the second your audience realizes that an artist is at the helm of a story, their attention is drawn to the spectacle, and not the story. If you were to pause Across The Spider-Verse at any time in the movie, you would be amazed by the artistry. Each frame of this movie could probably be printed and sold at a comic-con for a pretty penny. But, the problem you have here is that the animation is so over-powering, and so rich, that it becomes a major distraction. It seemed as though the director wanted you to notice the artistry of the movie, rather than to enjoy the narrative that was trying to be told.
And as far as the narrative of the story? Well, if this script were written tightly, it could have been explained in 5-pages, rather than 120. The story repeated itself, over and over again. For two hours, we had to learn that Spider-Man in all universes, were all confused characters, and had some form of family problems. And we had to learn this through long boring conversations. Who wants that in a Spider-man movie? This is what happens when a story has no clear antagonist. At one point the bad-guy was clear, it was The Spot. But then he disappeared for the whole movie, and then everyone had their chance to wear the hat of chief-bad-guy, including Miles Morales.
Talk about zzzzzzzzzzz.
Now, I’m pretty much alone on the mountain top when I scream, “This movie is the worst movie of the year!” But hey, you can see it, and let me know if you agree with me.
This movie is safe for kids, horrible for adults with a brain, great if you want to go to sleep fast.
GRADE: F
Steve Young
