DON’T BELIEVE THE CRITICS
The critics are hammering this movie, and I’m really not sure why. And it’s just not the newspaper critics that are dragging Indy into the mud, professional YouTubers are expressing the same opinion. I dunno, maybe they are smarter than I am, understand storytelling a lot better, or just have a better eye.
Naaaaaaaaa!
These critics are the same bozos that told me that Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse was the most bestest, most awesomeness, super-mega-goodness, movie of all time – AND THAT MOVIE SUCKED BALLS. And don’t get me started on the token Oscar-winning Everything Everywhere All At Once, which sucked so much, I had to apologize to my mom and aunt, for dragging them to the movies.
Listen to me now, and hear me later – The Dial of Destiny is a great movie. It was action-packed from beginning to end, filled with great characters, and it was the perfect way to wrap up the franchise.
A-LIST SCREENWRITERS
Let’s start with the excellent writing crew that was brought in, to make sure this script was tightly written, with great characters. Jez and John-Henry Butterworth penned the movies Edge of Tomorrow, and Ford Vs. V Ferrari. David Koepp, well where do we start – he wrote Spider-Man (the one with Tobey Maguire), Jurassic Park, Mission: Impossible, Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, The Mummy. Yes, he did write the Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, but that honestly wasn’t as bad as it seemed.
There really isn’t much to criticize about the script. The talking heads have said there was too much action in the movie, too many chase scenes. Uhmm…have they seen the other Indiana Jones? They all have tons of chase scenes. These scripts are so action-packed, if you go to the bathroom during the movie, you’re bound to miss something cool. Give me a break.
This script gets 5 gold stars from me. I can’t see anything wrong with it.
GRADE: A
THE CHARACTERS
Even in action movies, it’s all about character. Those who don’t know much about the art of storytelling, will tell you that a script is either driven by characters or action. Well, that’s a bunch of bullcrap. In a well-written script, everything is driven by characters, including the action scenes. Action in a script is the result of a character’s personal agenda. If a script is solely driven by action, then it is then driven by the screenwriter’s personal agenda. And, when a script is driven by a screenwriter, and not the character, it’s not honest.
Dial of Destiny was an honest script.
Let’s take a look at the characters here:
INDIANA JONES: TYPE ONE “REFORMER”
In summary, Reformers are the referees, the whistleblowers, of the real world. Ever since Indiana Jones was a teen, he always hunted for historical artifacts with the sole purpose of displaying them in museums. He wasn’t a treasure hunter by any means, and was not motivated by greed, which is why in the real world he spent his time teaching at a university. It’s important to note that Indiana’s treasure-hunting journeys were always about the greater good, and never about himself. He never set out on a journey to find his purpose in life. He wasn’t an overly enthusiastic traveler who was looking for his next big adrenalin rush. And Dr. Jones surely was doing this for publicity, or to create a family legacy.
In the latest installment of Indiana Jones, I am happy to report that his character stayed canon to his true personality type. I swear, if this script were written by young writers, Indiana Jones would probably be an old white male that questions his sexuality. These new screenwriters have no idea how to pen an honest script.
HELENA SHAW: TYPE 3 “ACHIEVER”
Helena’s character has drawn a lot of undeserved criticism, and has been labeled as “woke” by conservative pundits. Is Helena’s character “woke”, by any means? Not from what I can see. And I say that as one of the most “sensitive-compulsive-complainers about woke’ism” out there. I’ve literally walked out of theaters because a movie had been too woke. I’ve canceled my Disney+ membership after The Falcon and Winter Soldier suddenly broke into a monologue that validated domestic terrorism. If Helena was woke as advertised, I would have walked out, and asked for a refund. I’ve done it before.
Helena is a know-it-all arrogant character, who is knee-deep in crap, because she had conned one too many people. Is she smarter than Indy? Not by a long shot, but she does know historical facts that Indiana Jones doesn’t. Helena does believe she is the smartest person in the room, and that’s her character flaw.
A writer could either write Helana Shaw as a con-woman Type Three, or a Type Eight “Challenger” who is trying to prove to herself that she’s better than her father, and better than Indy. Either way, you’ll probably end up getting the same character you see in the movies.
DR. JURGEN VOLLER: TYPE 5 “INTELLECT” WITH A HEAVY SIX “LOYALIST WING”
In the real world, most professors are intellects, and you’ll find most of them trapped in university echo chambers, preaching their observations in their safe-space university bubble. So, if were to be overly honest, Indiana Jones would be a Type 5 Intellect, who would love his tenured professorship, and would be too scared to venture into any amazon forest, and probably too cowardly to take on any adventure.
Well, it’s a good thing that scripts don’t have to be overly honest to be great. They just have to be honest enough to make it interesting.
In the movie world, you’ll find most intellects trapped in a lab, loyal to a cause greater than their own. And this is who Dr. Jurgen Volle is, a blind Nazi loyalist, who even after losing the war, plans to rewrite history with the Dial of Destiny. He’s extremely intelligent, and has a knack for being one step ahead of both Indy and Helena, throughout most of the story.
If you’re wondering, Dr. Jurgen is an example of a great villain. He’s smarter than both Indiana Jones and Helena, a lot more cunning, and he really drives the story forward. Remember, villains, are the ones who are at the helm of your action script. Hereos are reactive.
DIRECTION: JAMES MANGOLD
James Mangold is a great director who has a resume littered with accomplishments. Cop Land, Girl Interrupted, Kate and Leopold, 3:10 to Yuma, Knight and Day, The Wolverine, Logan, Ford vs Ferrari. James Mangold is director gold, and knows what he’s doing. The action here is intense, and the storytelling is very honest. The complaints about Helena overshadowing Indy are completely baseless.
GRADE: A++++
IN A NUTSHELL
I saw so many crappy movies this year that I have decided not to sign up for any theater subscription. Regal sells a $20-a-month subscription service that lets me watch any movie I want, any amount of times. But when the majority of stories gracing the silver screen are crap, this money would just go to waste. I would rather rewatch Yellowstone, or old Futurama episodes, than spend $50 in a movie theater.
With that being said, this movie is worth every penny. Just don’t buy any diet soda because you won’t make to the end of the movie, without having to go to the bathroom. This movie definitely is a long one.
I will be buying this movie when it’s available to stream. What a great ending to a great trilogy. Bravo.
GRADE: A+
Steve Young
