The best part about this movie was that I found twelve dollars in my recliner seat. Let’s go straight to the breakdown
CHARACTERS
This movie would probably be a great example of how not to create characters. They were all unlikeable, even a bit irritating. The explanations for their motivations were completely – well, stupid.
Dr. Emma Russell pulls a Thanos and hits the reset button on Earth because she lost her son during a battle with the monsters in the last Godzilla movie. She so distraught about losing her son, she partners up with Hollywood’s version of eco-terrorist, who loved the world so much they want to set it on fire.
And what did the eco-terrorist stand to benefit from destroying the world? Nothing. They weren’t money or power hungry. Not one of them. There was no dissent in the group, nothing. Yeah, that’s really realistic. A bunch of Alpha Males and no dissent other than with Dr. Russell.
Then again, would want to live that fictional world where everyone was either boring or irritating.
Sorry folks, there is no personality breakdown for this movie because none of the characters had any personality. I wish I could do a Maverick review here, but in order for me to do that, there has to be something substantial to work from.
GRADE: F
DIRECTION AND SCRIPT
This was a movie written and directed by Michael Dougherty. He was the screenwriter for the worst Superman movie, by the way. The one that put literally half the audience to sleep. A feat he almost accomplished with this movie.
Did I mention I almost fell asleep in this Godzilla? I never been so bored in a movie, that I literally started searching for money in the chairs. And I’m not lying here, I found twelve bucks.
The movie theater wasn’t very full, but the teenagers in the front row left before the movie was over. That’s a sign of how crappy the directing was. If your target demographic leaves a movie they paid $15 for, you got a big problem.
There really was no story here at all. It’s so hard to criticize a movie that has no bright spots other than the explosions on the screen. There were no plot holes to fill because the entire script was a bust. There were no characters to rewrite because none of the characters made any sense. There were no scenes to cut because they all should have been cut.
GRADE: F
OVERALL
I have to point out here that Godzilla looks like a stegosaurus that decided to walk upright. It looked kinda like my guinea pig if I added abs and spines to it. One bright spot was the visuals. The CGI was ABSOLUTELY terrific. But it wasn’t enough to overpower the shoddy storytelling.
Wanna know how bad Godzilla is? It makes 1998 Godzilla look Oscar worthy.
Wait till this movie hits HBO or Netflix. You don’t need to watch it to learn how not to tell a story.
GRADE: F
Steve Young
